


The Dangers of Boredom

by rosegoldroman



Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Multi, i dont know what this is but i had fun writing it so!!! enjoy!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 04:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15622305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldroman/pseuds/rosegoldroman
Summary: A bet made in a bout of boredom leads Patton and Roman down a spiral of frustration as each tries to be the first to fluster Logan. But Logan isn't so easily flustered.





	The Dangers of Boredom

**Author's Note:**

> this is a rewrite of the VERY FIRST sanders sides fanfic I ever wrote, sometime around a year ago. i never posted the original, but i'm happy with how this one came out so!!!!! i hope yall enjoy!!!!

Roman was bored.

The feeling left a bad taste in his mouth, a pit in his stomach. It wasn’t _right;_ he was the _creative_ one, the embodiment of both ideas _and_ the inspiration to achieve them. To run out of ideas, to lose that inspiration… he hated it. This wasn’t supposed to _ever_ happen!

And yet, here he was: out of ideas and lacking inspiration. He sat on the couch between Virgil and Patton, tapping his fingers against his leg as he tiredly watched the crazy conspiracy show Virgil had turned on. His mind struggled to find something to do — _anything_ to do, he didn’t really care what, as long as it tore that unbearable itch of boredom away.

But though his mind searched, it always came up empty, leaving him stranded alone on that horrible island of uninspired agony. He let out a long, drawn out sigh, glancing between the two sides beside him as though gauging their reactions. When he got none, he sighed again, louder this time.

“Something wrong, kiddo?” Patton asked, glancing up from his book as Virgil glared.

“I’m _bored,”_ he groaned dramatically. “There’s _nothing_ for me to do!”

“Why don’t you try shutting up?” Virgil snapped, pointedly raising the volume on his show. “You’ve never tried that before.”

Roman raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t _you_ try not being such an edgelord, Sasuke?” he retorted with a laugh. Virgil rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to respond, but Patton cut him off swiftly.

“Now now, c’mon, there’s no need to fight.” He shot them both a patented Dad Look and set his book down in his lap. “I’m sure there _something_ you can do, Roman! Ooh, how about we all play a board game?”

“More like a _bored_ game,” Roman scoffed. “Besides, Virgil always cheats.”

“I do not!”

“We could watch a movie together!” Patton suggested, but Virgil shook his head, gesturing at his show with the remote.

“I’m in the middle of this,” he said, loud to be heard over the man on the TV talking about mothman. Patton bit his lip, thinking.

“Oh! How about you go see what Logan’s up to? He’s been up in his room all day, he could use a break.”

Roman slumped back against the couch in disappointment. “What, Specky McNerd?”

“ — don’t be rude —”

“ — he’s _boring!”_ Roman continued as if Patton hadn’t spoken, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling with a long-suffering sigh. “All no-nonsense _facts,_ like — like some sort of robot! Honestly, I don’t even think he has _emotions!”_

Virgil snorted when Patton gasped, dramatically enough that even Roman was impressed. “That’s just not true, kiddo!” he insisted. “He —”

He froze, mouth open in mid-sentence, when Logan came down the stairs, his face buried in a thick book. He glanced up and nodded in greeting, offering his three boyfriends a smile before stepping into the kitchen.

“I’ll prove it,” Patton whispered. “He’s got just as many emotions as the rest of us! He just doesn’t like to show ‘em.”

“Relatable,” Virgil muttered.

“What are you going to do?” Roman asked, his curiosity piqued. Patton smiled, climbing to his feet. He straightened his glasses, a shining determination in his eyes.

“I’m gonna _flirt_ with him.”

Well, _this_ was intriguing. Logan had _never_ been one to respond to flirting, even after they’d all started dating. “Well, if nothing else, this should be interesting,” he remarked, pushing himself to his feet. Glancing back at Virgil, he asked, “you coming, Ebony Dark’ness Dementi —”

Virgil raised a hand to stop him, his gaze never leaving the tv. “No. I’d only go if it were _you_ who was gonna be shot down.”

Roman rolled his eyes and let out a small, offended noise, turning on his heel and following Patton into the kitchen. Leaning against the doorframe, he watched as Patton approached Logan as he spread Crofters on his toast.

“Heya, Logan!” Patton began, a warm smile on his face.

“Good afternoon, Patton. Is there something you wanted?” Logan asked. Patton nodded, his smile growing.

“Yup! I just wanted to tell ya that you look really great today!” He stole a glance at Roman and winked, adding, “I _love_ your shirt, teach!”

Roman resisted the urge to laugh as Logan blinked, glancing down at his shirt. “Patton… I’m wearing essentially the same outfit that I wear every single day,” he pointed out. “What is it about today that makes me look ‘good’ that is different from other days?”

“Well, you — you _always_ look good!” Patton insisted as Logan poured himself a cup of coffee. “You’re extremely handsome!”

“Oh.” Logan had no reaction, beyond a small, almost-surprised quirk of his eyebrows. “Thank you for the compliment, Patton. You’re looking good today as well.”

And Logan left the kitchen, his face not even a single smidge darker, and Patton stood frozen in place, his face a blushing red mess. He buried his face in his hands as Roman approached.

“A commendable effort, really,” he said, and he did mean it. “I mean, it wasn’t going to work, but good on you for going out and trying anyway!”

Patton mumbled something into his hands. Roman caught, “why wouldn’t it work?” amid the jumble of flustered stuttering.

“You’re just not made for flirting, padre,” he explained, rubbing Patton’s back consolingly. _“I’m_ the romantic side, after all. If _anyone_ could get that nerd to blush, it would be _me.”_

Patton straightened up. “Why don’t you try, then?” he asked innocently. “I mean, you wanted something to do, right?”

Roman paused. He _did_ want something to do — and who was he to back down from a challenge? He was confident he could make _anyone_ blush. He drew himself up to his full, proud height, and nodded, a confident smirk on his face.

“Alright, I accept your challenge,” he said. “How about we make this a bit more interesting, though?” he suggested. When Patton tilted his head to the side curiously — the action reminded Roman of a cute dog, and his smile grew — Roman continued. “A little wager, I mean. I bet that I can make Logan blush before you can!”

Patton was silent, and Roman could almost hear the struggle he was facing: support his fellow side or step up to the challenge? He bit his lip, and finally nodded. “Okay, Roman, you’re on! I’ll bet… two cookies that I can make him blush first!” He leaned towards Roman, whispering conspiratorially, “and then you can take two cookies too, even if I win. Because we’re both winners!”

“Oh Patton. How innocent.” Roman shook his head. “Those stakes aren’t _nearly_ high enough! How about…” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Oh! The first to fluster Logan gets the loser as their personal assistant for the day.”

“I _could_ use some help in the kitchen later…. Alright! It’s a deal, kiddo!” He held out his hand, and Roman shook it.

Logan was sitting in a chair by the window, half-watching Virgil’s documentary and half reading the thick book in his lap. Roman strode up to him, Patton trailing along behind.

“Hey, Logan~” Roman purred.

“Yes?” Logan asked, glancing up.

“Are your pants a compressed file?” Roman asked, and Logan opened his mouth and then closed it, confusion flashing through his eyes. “Because I would _love_ to unzip them.”

“That’s not —”

“Oh!” Roman cut him off, gasping dramatically. “Silly me! Your pants _can’t_ be a compressed file! They’re made out of _boyfriend_ material!”

Logan stared. “... Roman, they’re made out of denim,” he corrected, not even close to blushing. “They’re _jeans._ Are you… feeling alright, Roman? You’re acting stranger than usual.”

Roman recoiled as if struck, face coloring. “‘Stranger than _usual?’”_ he quoted, offended, as Virgil burst out laughing.

“Yes,” Logan said. “You’re speaking nonsense.”

Even Patton was chuckling, though he tried to stifle it, and later Roman would find humor in the situation too — but right now he spun on his heel and stalked from the room, disbelief burning in his chest.

As Patton ran after him, Logan sent Virgil a look, eyebrows furrowed. “Did I say something wrong?”

“I can’t _believe_ this!” Roman cried, pacing the kitchen floor. Patton watched him, nibbling on a chocolate-chip cookie.

“Don’t worry, kiddo!” Patton said after swallowing, brushing crumbs from his shirt. “Logan’s a tough _cookie,_ but I’m sure we can get him to crumble!” As Roman groaned at the joke, Patton grinned. “Besides, it’s my turn again!”

He watched Logan from the kitchen doorway for a few thoughtful moments, biting his lip, and then set out, sliding onto the couch beside Virgil and leaning towards Logan’s chair.

“Hey, Logan,” he said cheerfully. “I like your shirt! It really brings out your beautiful eyes!”

Logan looked down at his shirt, nearly identical to every other shirt he owned, and looked back up at Patton. “Patton, we — we’ve been through this. This is the same outfit that I wear every day.”

“Why do you own so many of the same shirt, anyway?” Virgil asked.

“Why do you wear the same jacket every day?” Logan retorted. “I simply enjoy the style. Besides, they were 50% off at the store. It was a good investment.”

Roman froze, his eyes growing wide. This was his chance! The perfect opportunity had arisen, and he’d be a fool to let it slide by! He raised an eyebrow and smirked flirtatiously.

“I’d like them to be 100% off, if you know what I mean,” he purred, wiggling his eyebrows.

Virgil choked and Patton’s face turned bright red, but Logan only tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing. “That is not a sound business strategy, Roman.”

“No! That’s not what I —” Patton grabbed Roman’s arm and pulled him back into the kitchen, cutting him off, leaving Logan confused and Virgil dying on the couch.

“That was my turn!” Patton complained once they were back within the safety of the kitchen.

“I saw an opportunity and I took it!” Roman cried. “Why do you keep bringing up his ding-dang _shirt,_ anyway?”

“It’s a good shirt! I happen to like shirts like that!” He gestured at his own, similar shirt.

“I just —” Roman ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t understand why he isn’t cracking! I’m using my _best_ material on him!”

“Your best _boyfriend_ material?” Patton asked, chuckling. He let out a breath. “Alright, kiddo, we’ve gotta calm down. Let’s try a few more times and then we’ll stop, okay?”

“What about the bet?” Roman asked, and Patton shook his head.

“If neither of us can win, we’ll just forget about it. Just a few more tries, okay?”

* * *

 

Just a few more tries.

_Just a few more tries._

Never had a bigger lie been uttered. Deceit would have been proud.

They’d had a few more tries. And then a few more. And a few more. The sun had set and Virgil had taken over dinner because Patton was too busy listing off all of Logan’s wonderful virtues, and Roman’s voice had grown hoarse from all the Disney love songs he’d serenaded Logan with. Roman had forgotten all about his original objective — proving that Logan was actually a robot in disguise — in favor of proving that _he_ was the most romantic of them all.

The worst part? They hadn’t even succeeded yet! Logan was truly the hardest enemy Roman had ever faced. Even the _dragon-witch_ was easier to deal with, and she regularly tried to kill him! Logan was infallible — but Roman and Patton refused to give up.

They _couldn’t_ give up.

So they _didn’t_ give up, and ended up standing side-by-side before Logan, taking turns complimenting him. Logan had never been so confused in his life, and Roman almost started to feel a bit bad for him — but then Patton spun poetic beauty about how Logan’s eyes sparkled when he learned something new, and Roman forgot all about pity in favor of comparing Logan’s smile to the moon’s dazzling glow.

“Oh my _god!”_ The growl came from the kitchen, making them all pause. Virgil stomped out of the kitchen, Patton’s apron tied lopsidedly around his waist, and glared. “I can’t take any more of this!” He stopped in front of the three of them with his hands balled into frustrated fists by his sides.

He closed his eyes and yanked on Logan’s tie, smashing their lips together, setting one hand behind Logan’s head as they deepened the kiss. He pulled away a moment later, watching with a satisfied smirk as Logan’s face flooded with bright red.

“W-Wha — Virg — wh —” Logan.exe had stopped working. He stuttered and stammered, his face flushed deep red, and Virgil raised an eyebrow as he turned to Roman and Patton.

“I win.”

Roman joined Logan in his panicked stuttering as Patton slumped against the wall, eyes wide, shellshocked.

Virgil made his way back to the kitchen, turning his back on the other sides to hide the blush spreading across his own face. “Have fun cleaning my room tomorrow, you two,” he called over his shoulder.

Roman sank onto the couch, a pang of horror shooting through his heart. Patton slid down the wall, pale, swallowing hard. Logan went silent and reached up to touch his lips, his eyes wider than they had ever been before.

Roman was _reeling._ Silently, he promised — he was _never_ going to give into his boredom again.


End file.
